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The Weekly: Swamp Beers, Solana Girls, and the Singularity.

The Weekly: Swamp Beers, Solana Girls, and the Singularity.
  1. XCOPY pumped, Anonymoux dumped, and rumor has it sale proceeds are going toward ‘swag bags’ for the much-anticipated singularity welcoming party.
  1. Tired of being accused of making money off other’s losses, Farokh figured, why not embrace the hate? — launches gambling prediction market startup, Myriad Markets and makes it official.
  1. The ApeCoin Influencer House is launching this month, and TFG plans to stock it full of “Made by Apes” products — Web3 influencers drunk on ape-branded IPAs — what circle of crypto hell is this?
  1. Solana e-girls began filming a new reality series at the “Solana Villa” — forget whatever I said about the Apecoin House, this is worse.
  1. SuperRare’s Emma Joelle is sick of the phrase "bad UX" — maybe it's time to take a break from reading SuperRare support tickets.
  1. Speaking of UX, Botto's latest app update was so smooth it even got me to join the DAO — unfortunately, the update did nothing to improve Botto's art.
  1. In what must be a slow news week, Patrick Amadon tried to reinvent himself via TechCrunch feature into pseudonymous hacker “Amadon” — let’s be real, you’re not a hacktivist, you’re an AI artist with ChatGPT.
  1. Coinbase introduced cbBTC, an ERC-20 token supposedly backed 1:1 by bitcoin held by Coinbase — groundbreaking innovation for a decentralized future where your assets can be seized with ease.
  1. Wormhole and Worldcoin partnered to bring "World ID" to Solana — its believed the network’s ability to attract retail NPCs was a key factor in WorldCoins’s choice of Solana.
  1. Dagniuz announced the private sale of "New World Order" to an anonymous buyer; claims the collector wanted price undisclosed to keep the focus on the art — I’ll take ‘Things That Never Happened’ for $600, Alex.
  1. Web3 agency liaison continued to find success as a preferred crypto art broker — begs the question: do you actually hate private sales, anons, or just wish you thought of brokering them first?
  1. Crypto continued to chop this week leaving cryptotwitter fatigued and bored — Need proof? Look no further than Metaversal’s Kayvan Ghaffari bullposting “Hamilton.”

This not-newsletter is for comedic purposes only—please don't mistake it for news, legal, tax, investment, or financial advice. Seriously, don’t make decisions based on this. Do your own research and consult people who actually know what they’re talking about before making any moves.